Thursday, November 16, 2006

SUBWAY Sandwich "Artists"

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Firstly let me just point out the fucking obvious...Artist?

You slide a fucking bread roll along what can only be described as a fucking sandwich assembly line and fill it with meat and salad. (already sliced!) But you don't even create the sandwich do you?

No, the fucking customer tells you exactly what to put in it. Artist my arse!

Secondly, when I ask you for a £1.99 sub of the day all I want is a £1.99 sub of the day.

NO, I don't want extra meat.
NO, I don't want extra cheese.
NO, I don't want a cookie.
NO, I don't want a bag of crisps.
NO, I don't want a drink.

Minimum wage monkies!

Friday, November 10, 2006

Politicians all suck!

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For being the lowest, most lying-est, two faced, greedy, shady, corrupt, contemptible, whoring-est, worthless, wanked out sleaze-ridden bags of cunt scratchings off a camels hairy asshole ,that have ever slithered their rank, bloated, pus-filled, over stuffed and useless bodies over this godforsaken rock.

There is anal bacteria on pluto that have a higher worth than you bunch of fuckstumps.

I wish you all a good long stay ( preferably for eternity) in the festering cesspool you rectum raiders leaked out of.

Cunts, all of you!

Tom Fucking Jones

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You look like a potato with hair.

In fact no, you have a face like someone has stuffed a hundred walnuts into a condom.

By the way, that's not singing either.

Who told you you could sing you fucking screeching old welsh cunt?

Sex Bomb? More like Twat Bomb!

Do people actually PAY to watch him sing?

Yes, she's famous. Yes he's a prick!

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I mean, this is only a big deal if you are:

1. American
2. Britney Spears
3. Kevin Federline
4. Their Divorce Lawyers

5. A Sad Fucker.

Get a life people, there are millions of people dying in the world in wars, famine and shit like that.

Who gives a fuck about some over-the-hill bitch who I have never fucked?

Anyway, she has a voice like a cinder under a door!

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Thursday, November 02, 2006

People who wear sunglasses indoors. STOP!

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You are everywhere, Cafes, Pubs, Trains. etc. You are not cool, hip, trendy or "with it" You are just a fucking dickhead.

Stop it........You annoy me and everyone who sees you.

If you are blind, I apologise, if you're not, you are a fucking idiot.

Scientists (who is paying these fuckers?)

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NEWSFLASH!

"Scientists discover one gets more sexual satisfaction after intercourse than masturbation".

Nice one guys, now how about cracking on with this whole 'cancer' pickle???

The biggest question is, who is dumb enough to pay a scientist to shag and wank anyway?

For fuck's sake. The world is really getting ridiculous now.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Umbrellas (read the instruction manual for fuck's sake)

Why do some idiots insist on having an umbrella up when its clearly not raining anymore?

Close it down you morons - the rain's fucking stopped.

Also,

don't walk around with it swinging in front of you, have it pointing down to the ground.

It's annoying when people need to risk walking into oncoming traffic to avoid being impaled on your crappy over-sized umbrella.

Have some fucking respect for other people you retards.

Veterinary Doctors (You robbing bastards)


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You shove a pill down my dog's throat and a thermometer up his arse.

Within 5 minutes you are charging me 50 quid for the pleasure.

Why don't I give you the shirt off my back too?

Overpaid fuckers.